Step 6 of 12 · 6 min
Step 6 — Ready to Have God Remove Defects of Character
We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. The step about the habits you secretly still like.
Work this step with a guide. These lessons are meant to support the work, not replace a sponsor or mentor. Find someone who has already completed this step — preferably a man who understands your background — and walk through it with him.
Read it, or let someone read it to you — whichever kind of day it is.
Keep it on your computer or phone. The video records in real time, so it takes about as long as the lesson.
Step Six: "We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character." This step is short and quiet and it takes longer than the loud ones, because now you know your list — and you like some of it. Anger gets people to back off. Sarcasm keeps people at a distance where they cannot hurt you. Lust gets you a hit of comfort without the cost of intimacy. Control keeps chaos away. Every defect on your list is a bad tool that once did a real job.
Willingness means you stop defending the tool. Not that you never want it. That you stop building a case for why you need it. Most men cannot say "take it away" honestly yet. Fine — say the honest version: I am willing to be made willing. That is a real prayer and it has moved a lot of men.
The practical test is what you do with the payoff. Pick one defect and ask, what does this get me? Then ask, what would I have to face if I gave it up? Usually the answer is fear, loneliness, or a memory. That answer is what your next conversation with your sponsor or counselor should be about. You cannot be entirely ready to lose a coping tool until you know what it is covering.
Then: one week, one defect. Every time it shows up, name it out loud — even just "that is the control again" — and do nothing else. Awareness first, removal after.
Tonight: write down the three defects you would honestly like to keep and why. Bring that page to your mentor. That page is Step Six.
How to work this step: the 12 Steps are not meant to be read alone and checked off. They are meant to be worked under the direction of someone who has already completed all twelve properly — a sponsor, mentor or guide who has done the writing, the confession and the amends themselves, and preferably someone whose background looks something like yours. Reading a step teaches you what it says. Working it with a guide is what changes a life. If you do not have that person yet, do not let it stop you from starting, and do not try to do it alone either — reach out to us through the Contact page or ask any moderator or mentor in the rooms, and we will help you find someone who has walked this road and is willing to walk it with you.
A gentle note on words: when these classes say God or a Higher Power, the Higher Power we have found is Jesus. We say that plainly rather than hiding it, and we say it without pressure. You belong here no matter what you believe right now, and nobody is going to push you. If you ever want to know more about that, reach out to a moderator, a mentor or an admin in the rooms — they will be glad to talk it through whenever you are ready.
Next · Step 7
Step 7 — Humbly Ask Him to Remove Shortcomings